No, this isn’t a blog about the movie. No, this is not a blog about the best honeymoon spots in the U.S. And, no, this isn’t a blog about what to do on your honeymoon. This blog is about what happens when the idiots around you start saying, “Uh-oh, the honeymoon’s over!” or “Just wait ’til the honeymoon’s over”. This is a blog about how a honeymoon in Vegas lasts about as long as a drunken wedding and how you can do something about making it last. Let’s define “the honeymoon” for the intention of this post: 1) Infatuation, just a chemical interaction in your brain 2) A place you go following your wedding. Generally, for this post, we’ll be using the former. In the initial part of your relationship, during the dating, and possibly even co-habitation early on, we are infatuated with each other. “In love” or, actually, being in love. The difference there is truly being in love or being infatuated with one another. This should be evident quickly if your relationship begins on a healthy note and moves forward the same healthy way (in the beginning).
If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship (which, if you’re reading this, you probably already have), you know that “the honeymoon” does, in fact, end. But, does it have to end and can you get it back once it’s gone? Keeping the honeymoon going means keeping all of those things going that you did in the beginning of the relationship that made it feel so good. The butterflies in the stomach. Feeling good all over when your person enters the room. Feeling like you have a person in general.
Here are some tips to keep or get back that “honeymoon” feeling:
Short answer for both definitions? Yes. I (and others) believe that you fall in and out of love throughout a relationship. That’s how you rack up those double-digit years together. One minute, you’re making Christmas dinner for three different sets of people and then, during preparation for dinner number two, you’re tripping over each other in the kitchen. Then screaming. Then someone’s throwing a potato at the wall that leaves a stain forever. And, yes, your family is there and, yes, you want to grab their head and pop it like a balloon. The next thing you know, you’re all eating together and they reach over for your hand. And it’s like nothing ever happened at all when they look at you. Yes, your honeymoon can happen just like a drunken wedding in Vegas.
Since I was about 19, my motto was “no second chances” and it would backfire if I tried to go against it. I had an ex who would call, drunk, in the middle of the night at the absolute worst times…like during sex with someone new I really liked, despite the fact that we had been broken up for years. This was back during the days of having an answering machine, that played the messages aloud for everyone in the house to hear. (I guess I’m giving my age away, huh?) At one point, I was convinced that their was some kind of club that met to conspire against me starting any kind of new, healthy relationship. Assholes from the past-or even nice ones, I suppose-would show up at the absolute worst times and just fuck up the date royally.
However, once it’s over, I believe, it’s really over. As someone who has done this time and time again and has been trying to hold it together for over 2 1/2 years, I promise, what I’m telling you is the truth. That person is not coming back to you. It will never be the same, no matter how much work you put into it or fate you think is behind it. You may find comfort in each other’s familiarity when you’re lonely. You may still look at them with hope at times, but once the break-up is done, the things are divided, and the boxes are packed, it will never be the same and, in the wisdom of All Dogs Go to Heaven, “You can never go back”.
Pics are provided by FreePik and Google
Follow Notamomma on Pinterest, IG, Twitter, and FB (links can be found on my home page.) Thanks for reading!