Not a Momma

The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters.
– Friedrich Nietszche

Do you find this to be true? I know I certainly do. Maybe not in real life, where I am painfully shy, but in my online adventures. There have been moments that were worth opening myself up, to be sure. Oftentimes though, I find myself still feeling a void. I read blogs and comments on twitter from women and men who have made a slurry of friends. I find myself trying to join in, be a part of it all. So often I try to join in a discussion, only to find myself either ignored or brushed off. Oftentimes it feels like being a child trying to join an adult conversation, “We hear you, now run off and play.”

Even in my real life I only have a few friends, and none of them that I am consistently close with. Often I find that those friends will go months without contacting me. I am always the one to send the first email, make the call, plan the get together. I’m not completely sure why this is the case, because I believe I truly am a good friend. When we are together, or talking we spend our time in fits of laughter and happiness, so why does it happen only when I make it.

I wish it were different. I wish friendship came easily to me, like it seems to for so many people. Do you think there is a secret to it? What do you do to build friendships with people?

This week we were asked “What would you be the Olympic champion of?”

Wow… well seeing as how I’m awful at sports. Running in generally for me has never been a good thing. I actually broke my left wrist, in the same spot, three times as a child. All three times it happened while I was running. So any sport involving running… not for me. I sprained my ankle (twice) as a result of walking. The second time, was during a safety walk through at my place of employment, at the time. Yes, I was on the safety committee and managed to get hurt doing it. I’m just not a physical person.

So I’m thinking I need to come up with an entirely new Olympic event that I could compete in. There are a few I might excel in, I think, but one really stands out as MY EVENT.

Lazy: I am a true professional at this. Seriously. Just ask my husband. He is, after all the one who gets to do everything for me. “Honey will you do me a favor? Can you _____________?” just fill in the blank, and this is what you will hear me asking him, all day. When he isn’t home… well… I just think about doing things. I think about it and sometimes I’m even forced to go ahead and do them. This is horrible, but cannot be helped. I hope it doesn’t hurt my chances at the gold.

What about you? What do you deserve the gold for?

Some of my favorites!

There are so many to choose from… but I’ve narrowed it down to 10, in no particular order.

1. Shauna: I just started reading Shauna’s blog about 3 months ago, and she makes me laugh every single time I read. I love that.
2. Heather [Dooce]: I think that this is the very first blog I read. She is a great writer, and I love her daily photo’s. She deserves all of the recognition she’s gotten.
3. Amalah: A long time reader, I absolutely love reading about Amy’s everyday life with her two boys.
4. Kira: Her blog is one of the first ones I found and I have fallen in love with her family. From a divorced mom of 3 boys, to happily married + one beautiful baby girl.
5. Katie: Someone who is battling every day to overcome health hardships, she inspires me.
6. Tanis: I love reading about her life, what a great mom. Her kids are blessed to have her, and she is blessed to have them.
7. Melissa: She cracks me up. I love reading her ‘Did they eat it’ posts. And have you seen that beautiful new puppy?! SQUEE!!
8. Yvonne: I love Y, she is such a wonderful writer and I love her focus on her family.
9. Megan: She is hilarious, and she cracks me up every time I read her posts.
10. Heather: I found this blog after the tragedy of her losing little girl Maddie. I am amazed everyday to read about their family healing.

Don’t just take my word for it though, check these ladies out!

Matt and I are not a big Valentine’s Day couple. I mean I love chocolates and flowers as much as the next girl, but why wait until February 14th? There was one year a while back when Matt came home with roses and a box of candy for me for Valentines Day. I made him promise to never buy them for me again, at least not on Valentine’s Day. Those roses? $30 for 6! S I X!!! I cannot even grasp that cost.

Matt is great at everyday surprises. A card full of sweet nothings just because. A rose left on my pillow after a hard day. A box of my favorite (Cadbury Cream Eggs) because he knows I love them. Those things mean a million times more to me, then a $30 bunch of (6!!) roses and a box of chocolates, on a day when he is “supposed” to show me he loves me. Valentine’s Day is nice, but true love happens every day of the year.

Our anniversary, though? I better get something!!

I thought this was pretty cool, so I decided to join in the fun. Thanks Adam!

1. Go to the “Random Article” link on Wikipedia. Write down the title of the article. This is the name of your band.

2. Go to “Random Quotations” and the last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to Flickr and click on “Explore the Last Seven Days”. The third picture will be your album cover.

I like it… <3

Photo Source.

I am a chicken. Scared to death to do things I grew up doing. It’s so weird, I wonder at what point did those things go from being cool, to being horrible. A few things from my childhood that you could not pay me to do now.

Climbing a fence Seriously, even if I weren’t overweight… I totally could NOT climb a fence. A totally normal, everyday thing as a child. Seriously how does one get adult size feet into those tiny holes on a fence.

Jumping of the porch My parents front porch is three steps. I spent many summer days with my friends having out on the porch, and jumping from that top step. Who could jump the furthest, and land on their feet. I would be hard pressed to jump from the bottom step now LOL.

Some phobias have started since I’ve become an adult.

Walking barefoot Walking barefoot grosses me out faster then anything. Even in the house I wear flip-flops on daily basis. Just walking on the floor barefoot totally makes my skin crawl.

Spiders I have always been afraid of spiders, but sometimes it gets bad. Like when I’m alone and spot a spider on the wall. If no ones home to kill it, I will stare at it for a good 5-10 minutes until I work up the nerve to kill it myself. Paralyzed.

Public speaking This is something that has carried over from my school days. I would always get so sick on days we would have to read out loud in front of people. I do not think I could do it now. Even thinking about it right now makes me feel all pukey.

The phone My husband thinks that this one is weird. Mainly because my last two jobs involved me being on the phone the entire shift. I don’t understand it fully myself, but talking to people (other then mom, sis and Matt) makes me nervous and throws me into a fit.

So. What are your fears?

Well, hello!

We are all moved and settled in. We moved last Monday, January 25th. We were done unpacking and all settled in on Tuesday. I am a slave driver. I cannot stand boxes or not being unpacked, so we worked our fingers to the bones over the 2 day period and got it done. The apartment is not as small as it seemed, still small, but not so scary. We had to store just a few pieces of furniture and we have a ton of boxes. I don’t think we will ever move and NOT have a ton of boxes, some of the stuff just may never see the light of day. *coughmattsapackratcough*

So that is the latest scoop. I know this is short, but I’m trying to get some work done this morning.

Tomorrow is the big day, moving day. I would be remiss if I didn’t say I’m apprehensive. We went today to see the apartment for the 1st time, and we were incredibly disappointed with it. It is absolutely tiny. Our last apartment was 600sq. ft., and this one is supposed to be 625sq. ft., but where they are hiding all of that space I have no idea. We were both shocked to see how small the place is.

Because the apartment is so small, we won’t be able to fit all of our things. Now we have to find a place to store the things that won’t fit. We have two options, the first is to maintain a storage unit, which is a monthly bill we hoped to eliminate. The second option, and the one we are praying for, is that Matt’s brother will let us keep the stuff in his new house. He has a massive storage room in his basement, and if we could have a corner of it, I would be so happy. Matt is supposed to ask him tonight about it.

So that’s the news. It’s not what we had hoped, but we will only be staying a year. We will be fine.

I will be offline for the next few days, while we wait for the installation of the cable and internet. I might die. HALP!

The dogs just will not stop playing. What’s wrong with playing you ask? Well Snoopy (our 14 year old Beagle) likes to howl and howl and howl and howl, the entire time they play. After about 0.5 seconds it gets really annoying. I’m letting them play though, since we are home alone. Always good to use up that energy so later in the evening when we have to be quiet they are calm. It’s almost like raising kids… except hairier.

Andddd… the dogs just stopped playing and went outside. Ah, the blissful silence.

So we are moving on Saturday, and I am excited and nervous. It should be fine, but we have to have all of our things out of storage by 3pm, because that is when they close. I’m hoping Matt and his brother will start taking things over in the morning when they get off of work, that would be fantastic. We asked three people to help us out with the move, and so far one has said no, one said yes, and the third is ignoring the question. I was hoping we could get at least two guys, so it would go quicker, oh well.

We are all packed and ready to go, the only things left to pack up are the electronics (PC, and TV stuff) and 4 sets of clothes. I’m going to wash the bedding we are using now, and any dirty clothes, first thing Saturday morning so everything will be set to go. I am like a super organizing freak when it comes to packing, and so we finished it all relatively quickly. We didn’t really have too much, because when we moved in with my in-laws I tried my best to NOT buy anything we didn’t absolutely need. We collected way to much junk when we lived with my mom, and I didn’t want to make that mistake again.

And the silence is over, it’s back to playing. Beagles are beautiful, but SO loud!

We got the apartment! We are still not yet sure of our move-in date, although they think it will be sometime in the coming week. We had been originally told that they were planning on painting before we moved it, Last Monday we stopped in to check on things, and they told Matt they are still getting things ready. Not only are they painting but also, putting in new carpet, installing new cabinets in the kitchen and bathroom, and installing new appliances. I’m so excited!

We are going to run by tomorrow and see if they have any updates for us, as far as when we will be moving in, and we need to see about getting the utilities turned on in our names. If we get a definite move-in date, I would also like to set up a visit from the cable company so we don’t have to go without internet and TV. You know, the essentials… lol. We are praying that the move will be in the next 2 days (Tuesday??), otherwise we have to wait until Saturday. Matt works 12 hour shifts, and there is no way we can get moved the 3 days he works.

It’s exciting and scary. Our first place without family in over 4 years. I cannot wait!